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Attitude is everything, learn why and how to improve it

As Winston Churchill said once: Attitude is a small thing that makes a big difference.

Very short and condensed wisdom in that sentence. 

Let me show you how to apply some attitudes in your daily life that will allow you to live with more energy and motivation.

ATTITUDE : The way we interpret or respond to certain events or circumstances in life.

Do you get angry driving when the traffic is awful? Do you get really sad because you have had a bad experience with a customer or colleague? Do you fall into moaning when something is not as you expected it to be? Do you mostly have a negative auto destructive tendency? Do you often feel guilt? Shame?

It is about swinging this negative attitude into a positive one, sounds easy, uh?

That’s because it is easy.


Let’s think about habits


HABIT: Settled or regular practice or tendency, especially one that is hard to give up.

I know, I know… ‘hard to give up’ but where would excitement be in life without little challenges?

Aristotle said that “ Good habits formed at youth make all the difference ” and that’s great Mr. Aris but… Some of us are a tiny bit too late for that and, actually, have a ton of bad habits accumulated overtime that are really embedded like an arm or leg to our bodies.

So yes, if you have kids, bear this in mind because it is really wise and maybe you can save your kids a load of BS later in life.

But back to us, old bodies, if you want to make a change you will need to improve those existing habits.

If you want to have better habits, you can start by acquiring a new one from scratch, like learning a new language, starting a new sport, reading a book per week, playing with your kids every afternoon…whatever rocks your boat. 

And then, on the other side of the coin, reduce and, ideally, eliminate the ones that hold you back, smoking, drinking too much, eating fast food, watching too much telly… etc.etc. etc.etc.etc.etc.

The results we get in our life, professionally, as parents, as partners or in any other role, depend on our behaviour, and our behaviour depends on our habits.

Just think that these negative habits not only affect you and your life but your loved ones. I think it is a very good point to be made and that usually can be missed.

Here is why it is ‘hard to give up’… it’s because they make us feel good, they give instant gratification but, after that initial booster is when the mood goes the opposite way and the bad things happen: regret, sorrow, low self-esteem, guilt…and then we basically need another booster to end this misery and that’s when we enter this cycle of bad habits.

Let’s see how to focus on the good habits and abandon the bad ones so we can have a more fulfilling life.

First step is awareness

How could you change anything if you don’t even know it is harming you?

Start with the ones you recognise and let’s leave the ones you don’t for when you gain some practise and see the first results. Think of one of the things you want to get rid of because you realise it is not good for you.

Take a piece of paper or just sit in silence and visualise it, your choice.

Ask yourself these questions:

Why am I doing it? What am I getting in return? Why do I want to give it up?

Make sense of your answers, put them together and reflect on them for as long as you need. You can do it daily for a few days, or a few nights when going to bed. Take your time, there is no rush at all. You have been doing it for years, it is ok if it takes days or even weeks. The first little step is made.

Second step is reinforcement

You need to be all out.

You can ask yourself: Do I need this in my life? Do I want it in my life?

The main point here is that you need to be 100% sure and convinced you want to get rid of that habit yourself and it’s not a “my wife hates that I smoke and I want to quit” kind of thing.

Once you have gone through these two steps enough and your answers are strong and solid, the next one is the best one.

Third step is to give it up

Officially.

We have learnt how to deal with habits. This is an exercise you can keep doing until you eliminate all the things that are stopping you from thriving and being happy.

Your attitude in life will dramatically be affected by these changes and, undoubtedly, you’ll be a step up the ladder to fulfilment.


Live with joy

Now let’s improve that attitude by choosing to live with joy. Yes… I said choosing… because we have all the choice that there is. 

Everything is in our mind but our mind is kidnapped by our ego and is programmed with obsolete softwares that we need to uninstall to get new ones in.

You need to understand that to live with joy is a choice that we all can make freely and independently of our circumstances.

Okay, okay… I know what you are thinking… there are times when it is just not possible to feel joy: you’ve been fired, your loved one falls ill, you don’t have money to pay your bills… and I get it, you are completely right there but tell me… being angry or hateful is going to help in any way? Is it going to improve that situation?

I think you’ll agree that probably will make it worse.

TIP: If there is something you can do to make things better, don’t hesitate for a second, go and do it…if the problem is out of your control then there is nothing you can do, always remember this.

EXTREME TIP: If you’re the sweary kind of person, telling the mind literally to Feck off helps too. 

Failure is a synonym of opportunity in my own dictionary. There is always a positive side to everything even though you cannot see it at that very moment.

So let’s take a step back and put ourselves out of our bodies for a second (requires a bit of imagination), just take a little bit of distance from yourself and visualise yourself and the problem. Acknowledge it and feel the emotion, sadness, hatred, frustration…if necessary tell yourself: I am so sad, I am so frustrated, I hate this so much!…

And now surrender to it.

Surrender as in: this is how I feel right now but I am choosing to stay positive, I am choosing to see this challenge as a new opportunity, I choose because I am free, I choose because I decide to do so consciously.

Be a good person

It is important now more than ever to not forget the human connection.

We are permanently connected to people on the internet, on our phones, 24/7, but in most of those interactions there is no human connection or, at least, not in the majority of them.

We all like good people, we all like to be treated with kindness so let’s treat the others the way we like to be treated.

Can you imagine how the world would be if we all abided by that principle?

Set yourself goals and objectives

Perhaps starting with small ones but the important things that you have something to look forward to, it is important to keep your soul engaged, motivated and alive. The lack of motivation leads to procrastination and undesired laziness and subsequently to low self-esteem, frustration and disempowerment.

Exercise tip: 

Go to a very long time in the future with your imagination to the day of your death and write what you would like to read in your obituary.

Would it be something like?

She lived her life in fear, plodding along, getting by, working in a job she hated…

Or something like?

She lived by her own rules, fearless, she fell down and got back up many times, never gave up, she lived the life she dreamt of…

Just give this a go, believe me, it can be life changing.

Just to finish on a high let me give you some stunning information, do you know what are the chances for you to be alive?

It is something crazy like 1 to 400 trillion and if you add the odds for your parents and ancestors to be alive too so you could finally be here…yes, the brain can easily explode thinking about it.

Value every minute of your life and always choose the best attitude regardless of the challenge.