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Mindful Dating in 2022: the what, how and why?

Dating can be a fun and exciting experience, but it can also be frustrating and overwhelming. If you’ve been on a lot of dates and feel like you’re not having much success, you may want to try a different approach.

Mindful dating is a great way to become more aware of your emotions and behaviours, and to gain a better understanding of what you’re looking for in a relationship.

In this article, I’ll give you six tips for how to date mindfully.

MIndful dating

What is Mindful Dating?

Mindful dating is the practice of being aware of your emotions and handling them in a neutral way when trying to find somebody to start a relationship with.

1. Manage your emotions

We all have an innate desire to feel connected to others. When we feel lonely, we often try to find ways to feel more connected. One way we do this is by seeking out relationships. 

We want to find someone to share our lives with, someone to love and be loved by. However, sometimes we can get caught up in the emotion of loneliness and start to date mindlessly becoming desperate for companionship and end up dating people who are not the best match for us.

Mindful dating is about being aware of your emotions and recognizing when they are growing stronger. If you find yourself getting too emotionally attached to someone, take a step back and try to look at the person objectively. Instead of seeing them as the answer to your loneliness, get to know them as a person. See if you have common interests, if you enjoy spending time together, and if you have the same values. The best relationships often start slowly and without much emotion. Passion can come later, but it’s not the most important thing in a relationship. 

If you can find someone you can be yourself with, someone you can rely on, and someone you can build a life with, you’re on the right track.

 

Dating body language

2. Read his/her body language

Mindful dating means being present and attentive in your date. It’s about noticing the small changes that happen. This can be difficult to do if you’re not paying attention. One way to be more mindful is to focus on the nonverbal cues your date is giving off. This can include body language, tone of voice and facial expressions. Paying attention can give you a better understanding of how your date is feeling. It can also help you see any changes in behavior over time.

One benefit of mindful dating is that it can help you make better decisions about who you date. If you’re paying attention to your date’s behavior, you’re more likely to notice red flags. This can help you avoid getting into a relationship with someone who is not right for you. 

3. Pay attention to how you feel

On a first date, you may find that you are more guarded with your words and actions. That’s okay, it’s normal. Remember to take your time and get to know this new person. They may not be strangers for long. 

I have a close friend who married a man she met on a blind date. She says it was the best decision she ever made. They’ve been married for over ten years now and have three beautiful children.

A date with a stranger doesn’t have to be perfect to be great. In fact, it’s the imperfect moments that often make for the best stories. Embrace your nerves, be yourself, and have fun.

4. Be a good listener

This may seem an obvious one, however, don’t take it to the extreme of swallowing everything coming your way. You want to be respectful and understand where your date is coming from. However, you also want to be honest about your thoughts and feelings. 

If you’re not interested in what they’re saying, let them know. But do so in a way that is respectful. It’s important to be mindful of how you phrase things. For example, instead of saying “I’m not interested in that,” try “I can see how you feel that way, but I disagree because…”. This allows you to share your perspective without shutting down the conversation.

Mindful dating also means being aware of your own body language. Are you making good eye contact? Are you engaged in the conversation or are you looking around the room? Good body language shows that you’re interested in the person you’re with and in what they have to say.

It can be easy to get caught up in the latest trends or what other people are doing. But at the end of the day, you want to be with somebody who makes you happy. So be mindful of that as you date. Don’t compare your date to others. Be present and in the moment. This way, you can truly get to know the person you’re with and decide if they’re right for you.

Dating mindfully

5. Date for a while

By exposing yourself to different people you begin to see patterns and these will allow you to understand and compare different personalities and behaviors. Dating multiple people has another advantage in that it helps keep your options open. You might meet someone you like and think they could be “the one,” but if you’re dating others, you can compare and contrast to see if they really measure up. This can help you avoid getting too attached to one person too soon and making a decision you might later regret.

6. Don't open up completely in first dates

While you still need to be totally honest with your date, don’t give away everything about you and your life too soon. Remember it is a first date so don’t tell them about that time when you caught chicken pox and your Auntie Anna took you to the Hospital because your Mum and Dad were on holiday in the Bahamas. Keep it simple and recent.

Allow the other person to be themselves as well. One of the most attractive qualities in a person is authenticity. If you can be mindful and present in your dating life, you may find it easier to connect with others on a deeper level and find a lasting connection.However if it is him/her who wants to talk about childhood in Ohio, you might want to be clever and shift the conversation towards the present moment.

Conclusion

Applying mindfulness in dating will make you aware about things you didn’t notice before and, for sure, will help you to make sure you are not jumping into a relationship based on your feelings of loneliness or desperation.

Dating mindfully can only be beneficial and prevent you from making a mistake which is totally avoidable now.

Instead of focusing on falling in love, you’ll focus on getting to know the person you have in front of you and whether he/she would be a good fit for you and your lifestyle. Love, love will come afterwards purer than ever.